Apply the questions to everything and every situation. Make it a game in your mind.  Most of the time we let our mind control our thoughts and it  runs amuck. When the mind is not challenged it resorts to destructive occupations, It  focuses on fear, ego, resentment, and anxiety.    If you give your mind the job of recognizing what is joyful and fulfills purpose in your life.  Your path in life will be  much smoother.  You should ask in every situation. If the answer is no then do something to change it.  If the answer is yes, say a Thank You. Recognize it and show gratitude.

Let’s look at some examples.

You’re out with a friend.  She habitually complains and finds fault in a never ending list of things.  She can move from how a coworker wronged her, to how the medical system and doctors out to rip you off and then tell you in detail how her husband doesn’t help around the house.  I am not saying none of these things are true or false, But, if  you ask yourself “Does this bring me joy?” The answer would be most likely a big fat no.  Once you see this with clarity you will want to address the situation.  How often do you want to be confronted with a gauntlet of negativity?  Your solution is yours to make.  I am just saying that if you move with intention to find joy you will also live in joy.  

Again, Let’s say you’re out with a friend.  You have gone to the beach and set out your folding chairs on the edge of the water and the waves are flowing in and out cooling your feet with each wave and every once in a while a large wave comes to splash your whole body.  Your senses are awakened and you feel alive.  You ask the question “Does this bring me Joy”  Yes.  Don’t let this moment pass without gratitude.  Don’t let this moment pass without recognizing your friend and what this moment means to you.    

Now you are out on a date.  The date itself is at a nice location and the meal is tasty.  The service on the other hand leaves a lot to be desired. It starts off by not getting bread sticks.  Your date seems to hold on to this and everything after that seems to be under a negative cloud of judgment.  In between your date talking about themselves they make sure to point out all the ways the staff is not living up to your dates expectation.  You ask yourself “ 

Does this bring me joy?  Does this person bring me joy?   You say no,  but tell yourself maybe your date was having a bad day.  We can project all sorts of excuses.  The truth is this date tells you a lot about the person.  Number one rule about dates is that a date is each person’s opportunity to put their best foot forward. Whatever you see during the date is their best behavior.  It doesn’t get any better.   The next important fact about this date is you were not the focus.  If you were, who would care about bead sticks?  After you ask the question you can decide what you want to do, Is there going to be a second date or are you going to cut and release.  Find another fish.  The ocean is big.  Find someone who no matter what happens on the date, the experience brings you joy.  The fact is that being together should be a gift.   

You can ask the question at work, at school or any time.  Realizing what  makes you happy will help you find your joy.  Ask and you will receive.